The Speech Rater - The International Kiddush Club

The Speech Rater
In consultation with a prominent rabbi who shall remain anonymous

We have created this speech rater to help you give a numeric value to the words of wisdom that sometimes fall from the bima.
All of the events except the last have happened during speeches in the shuls that the authors have attended.
(except the last, and even then, knowing where it was an who was speaking, it could have happened)

							Widespread snoring
							Someone barfs during or immediately after the speech
							Oxgyen required
							Wide spread fainting
							Room clearing fart
							Someone dies during the speech
							If it was a suicide

Laugh! It's the same on both sides of the lecturn!